Dear Pathfinder
by WaywardLassie
Summary: Pathfinder Sara Ryder has been asked to find ways for her crewmates to bond. As if she didn't have enough to worry about: her twin in a coma, a new rank she did not earn, an unexplored galaxy with sinister foes, and a very alluring angaran crewmate she can't help feeling drawn to. Not to worry, though. InfoBoard v. 3.4 is here to help. Sara Ryder x Jaal Ama Darav
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Spoilers abound, so don't read if you aren't done with the game yet.

I just finished my first playthru of ME:A and something I really enjoyed in the game was how it occasionally advanced different storylines by using e-mails, messages, and other written communications. I loved how I got to know more about the crew by reading their musings and thoughts in those messages: Gil's poker notes were hilarious. Jaal's e-mails were adorable. I also loved the InfoBoard and how the exchanges among the crew members offered us little glimpses into their day-to-day on the Tempest.

This story is told via e-mails and the crew's info board. It may occasionally jump into good old narrative, but it will likely stick mostly to moments of downtime and reflection between various missions. The idea for this story came from Liam's tendency to send Ryder "vintage" media from Earth as attachments to his missives to her, Lexi's posts on bonding and staying healthy, and a conversation...in Prodromos?...with someone who asked whether or not the colonists should bother teaching the next generation about their history or start anew.

Teach the history, was my reply. ;-)

I hope the different chat channels as I've written them don't get confusing. FF gives me limited formatting options with the characters and spacing, which is frustrating. I tried to imitate the e-mail and info board format from Andromeda while also combining the style of different chat channels in various other games (oh, the joys of juggling 'group chat' and 'private messages' while trying to mute bad murloc jokes in general chat).

Oh, and this begins early on when the crew first gets together. And Ryder has the hots for Jaal. I thought their romance was so sweet and heartfelt.

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 1: "Welcome to Your New InfoBoard v 3.4"  
**

"Writing, the art of communicating thoughts to the mind through the eye, is the great invention of the world...enabling us to converse with the dead, the absent, and the unborn, at all distances of time and space."  
― Abraham Lincoln, _Speeches And Letters Of Abraham Lincoln, 1832-1865_

* * *

 **A Thank You from a Scholar**

From: Elanor Osei

To: Sara Ryder

Dear Pathfinder,

Thank you so much for your support regarding securing the teaching of our history in Andromeda. As a token of appreciation for that and for restoring my missing files, I wanted to send you a copy of my research. My particular field focuses on humanity's first forms of digital record keeping. There are vids, different eras of music, and newsreels for you to explore. You will find a complete archive of late 19th, 20th, and early 21st century media at your disposal. Please enjoy…and share!

Sincerely,

Dr. Osei

* * *

Sara Ryder stared at her computer screen.

"SAM—can you create a new channel on the Crew InfoBoard for me?"

"Of course, Pathfinder."

"And add the entire crew. Make sure you give them access to Dr. Osei's files."

"Done."

"Dr. T'Perro wants me to come up with bonding activities for the Tempest? She'll get bonding activities."

Ryder began to type furiously.

* * *

 **Bonding Activity (Mandatory)**

Ok, everyone. The good doctor has requested that we engage in activities that will encourage us to learn more about each other. This is what we're doing: everyone picks a song they liked from the database and gets to share it with the rest of the crew. [Ryder]

[Comments]

^I can't believe you are actually listening to me for once. [Lexi]

^^Sounds like fun! [Suvi]

^^^Sounds like torture. Literally. [Drack]

^^^^There seems to be a problem with the database. There are no Salarian songs—only human ones. [Kallo]

^^^^^No Salarian songs? Really? [Gil]

^^^^^^I cannot tell if you are being sarcastic. [Kallo]

^^^^^^^Hardly! That was merely relief. [Gil]

^^^^^^^^…And there's my answer. [Kallo]

* * *

 **Bonding Activity Follow Up (Still Mandatory)**

All right. It's been two days and no one has posted anything. I trust it's because you are all so busy listening and sorting through the files? [Ryder]

[Comments]

^Yeah. That's it. [Drack]

^^Who'll go first? Or shall I choose a volunteer?[Ryder]

* * *

 **Bonding Activity: Final Warning**

Damn, people! Fine. Liam, you're first. Post something by the end of today. [Ryder]

[Comments]

^Shit. [Liam]

^^Is that the proposed theme?[Gil]

^^^Hey, Gil! You're hilarious! You're posting AFTER Liam! [Ryder]

{Invitation to "Ryder" to join private InfoBoard Chat Channel from "Peebee"}

* _Say yes!_ {Peebee}

/Accepted

* _You won't regret this!_ {Peebee}

/"Ryder" has joined the private InfoBoard Chat Channel "No Dicks" moderated by "Peebee"

* _Hi ladies. Thought I'd create a safe space for our snark_. {Peebee}

** _I must have hit accept by accident_. {Cora}

*** _Bye_. {Peebee}

/"Cora" removed from the channel.

^I WAS JOKING! Let me back in! [Cora]

^^I'm guessing that wasn't intended for public chat? [Gil]

***** _Fuck! They're on to us!_ {Peebee}

/"Cora" has joined the private InfoBoard Chat Channel "No Dicks" moderated by "Peebee"

^^^I am confused. I did not understand your joke. Could you please explain? [Jaal]

**** _Damn, Peebee. Do you have to be so trigger-happy all the time?_ {Cora}

^^^^Hmmmm! Are you on a private channel, by any chance? [Gil]

^^^^^No. [Cora]

/"Gil" is now co-moderating the private InfoBoard Chat Channel "No Dicks"

****** _Girls, girls…You should know better than attempt to create a private channel right under an engineer's nose!_ {Gil}

/"Gil" removed from the channel.

/ERROR

/"Gil" cannot be removed. "Gil" is a co-moderator.

********* _GRRR! Get out, Gil!_ {Peebee}

******** _No can do. It's a secret channel! I want in with the cool kids._ {Gil}

********* _I was trying to do work, but this nonsense keeps interrupting and flashing on my datapad screen._ {Vetra}

^^^^^^The concept of a joke is very different among angarans. [Jaal]

********** _Poor Jaal is so confused now. I wonder who will come to his rescue?...Ryder?_ {Gil}

*********** _HAHAHAHA_ {Peebee}

************ _Hahahahah!_ {Vetra}

 **/PM from "Ryder" to "Lexi"**

 **^This is all your fault. {Ryder}**

 **^^The crew is bonding. I don't care how. {Lexi}**

 **/End of PM**

* _Here's the deal, ladies. Either let me stay here or feel my wrath._ {Gil}

** _Nope_. {Peebee}

^^^^^^^Really, Jaal? Could you please explain how jokes work in angaran culture? Like, give us a complete, detailed history? [Gil]

* _Noooooooooo!_ {Peebee}

** _Damn, Brodie. You're ruthless._ {Vetra}

*** _I can still nip this in the bud. Just say the word._ {Gil}

^^^^^^^With pleasure. Angaran humor is accessible and physical, as we are a very emotionally demonstrative people. Let's see…I think the earliest forms of angaran humor are from Voeld and revolve around the weather. In fact, there are clever sayings that always begin with "It's colder than…" [Jaal]

**** _I'm going to ask him for examples. IN SHELESH!_ {Gil}

***** _Peebee!_ {Cora}

****** _Wrap this up, please. I need to get back to my supply orders._ {Vetra}

******* _Fine! You can stay. Now make him stop!_ {Peebee}

^You know what, Jaal? I don't think Cora was really joking—I think she just mistyped something. [Gil]

^^Oh. I see. But would you still like to know about angaran humor? [Jaal]

^^^Maybe another time? [Gil]

^^^^Of course. Anytime. I'm happy to be of aid. [Jaal]

 **/PM from "Ryder" to "Jaal"**

 **^I would love to hear all about angaran humor, Jaal. [Ryder]**

 **^^I am so happy you wish to know! [Jaal]**

 **^^^And I am always happy to learn more about you. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^About me?[Jaal]**

 **^^^^^AND YOUR PEOPLE! [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^Sorry—I accidentally hit the caps button. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^I wasn't panicking or anything. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^ I think you just taught me something about human humor. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^^^Oh? [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^^^^Yes. You just made me smile. [Jaal]**

 **/End of PM**

* * *

Ryder pushed away from her desk for a moment and drew a deep breath while lightly patting her hand over her chest.

"Everything all right, Pathfinder?" SAM asked. "I am picking up an accelerated pulse."

"I'm feeling great, SAM."

* * *

* _You know, since I am now a bonafide member of this group, I think we should discuss a new channel name._ {Gil}

** _Fuck you._ {Peebee}

*** _I can't._ {Gil}

***** _"No Dicks."_ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ {Gil}

****** _Hahahahaa!_ {Vetra}

******* _Hahahaha_ {Cora}

******** _Hahahahaha_ {Lexi}

********* _That's so cute! How did you do that?_ {Suvi}

********** _New name now, or I will start adding random people to your secret channel._ {Gil}

********** _You wouldn't dare._ {Peebee}

/"Dutch" has been invited to join the channel.

********** _FINE! I'll change the name!_ {Peebee}

/Invitation to "Dutch" has been canceled.

/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

*********** _Thank you!_ _Much better._ {Gil}

************ _You're the 'ass' in this outfit._ {Peebee}

************* _Just sayin'._ {Peebee}

* * *

"What have I unleashed?" Ryder grumbled, shutting off her monitor.

"I am assuming that was a rhetorical question."

She frowned at the shimmering pinpoints of blue light swirling over the base next to her keyboard.

"You know what, SAM?"

"Yes, Pathfinder?"

"You're posting after Gil."


	2. Chapter 2

**2\. "Space Theme"**

* * *

 **Space Theme**

Since I was put on the spot and given little time, I went with what I know and like. Here is just a sampling of songs that have to do with space. I included the vids, too.

1\. Space Oddity- David Bowie

2\. Major Tom- Peter Schilling

3\. Rocket Man- Elton John

4\. Starman- David Bowie (Wot? I like him.)

5\. Intergalactic- Beastie Boys

6\. Starlight- Muse

7\. Walking on the Moon- The Police

8\. E.T. – Katy Perry

9\. Jupiter Crash- The Cure

10\. 2000 Light Years from Home -The Rolling Stones

And with that: I'm done! [Liam]

[Comments]

^Liam. Ryder said ONE song. ONE. [Peebee]

^^What can I say? I go above and beyond. [Liam]

^^^Yes, but at WHAT? [Peebee]

^^^^I have to object to the way salarians are portrayed in the E.T. vid. [Kallo]

^^^^^That's not a salarian, silly. We hadn't made first contact back then. [Suvi]

^^^^^^There is so much that is wrong with this video. [Kallo]

^^^^^^^Now that you mention it, I am wondering if salarians were popping in on Earth secretly…An awful lot of people described aliens that looked like salarians…{Suvi}

^^^^^^^^Absolutely not! We had better things to do. {Kallo}

^^^^^^^^^You know, Suvi, you might be on to something. There were rumors of aliens abducting people on Earth and conducting all kinds of experiments for "research". Sounds salarian to me. {Gil}

^^^^^^^^^^That's ridiculous. [Kallo]

^^^^^^^^^^^Is it, though? [Gil]

/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

* _Is it wise to get Kallo all riled up when he has to fly us safely through the Scourge in a bit?..._ {Vetra}

**It's _EXCITING!_ \ (•◡•) / {Gil}

*** _Oooh! How do you DO those?_ {Suvi}

**** _Yes. Especially for the search and rescue team collecting your remains._ {Vetra}

***** _Boo, Vetra. Live a little. You can hold me tight if it's a rough ride._ {Gil}

***** _Gee, thanks. Can I hold you by the neck?_ {Vetra}

****** _Look! I can do them too, now!_ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ {Suvi}

^First of all, this vid is insulting to my intelligence. [Kallo]

^^We're watching the E.T. music vid on the bridge if anyone wants to join us. [Suvi]

^^^I have a problem with the singer's lack of space gear. [Kallo]

^^^^It's artistic license! [Suvi]

^^^^^While she floats through space? Fine. Cause of death: artistic license. [Kallo]

^^^^^^What is the singer doing NOW?[Kallo]

^^^^^^^She kind of looks asari there. [Suvi]

^^^^^^^^Now the woman looks human and she is…activating some abandoned tech she found on a planet. [Kallo]

^^^^^^^^^Just like Ryder! [Suvi]

^^^^^^^^^^I think they're hinting at sex with alien tech now. [Kallo]

^^^^^^^^^^^NOT like Ryder! [Suvi]

^^^^^^^^^^^^Be right there. [Liam]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^Beat ya to it. [Peebee]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Oh my. [Kallo]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^A whole new meaning to 'interfacing'. [Peebee]

^Whoa! I didn't expect that! [Liam]

^^Nice. She's the alien and he's the human. Great plot twist. [Peebee]

^^^Her legs are kind of turian-like there. [Liam]

^^^^Do you need an optic implant? Those little legs are too skinny! [Vetra]

^^^^^And now they are walking bare assed into the sunset. [Peebee]

^^^^^^Bare-assed, huh? A lot of that going on around here…[Vetra]

^^^^^^^Oh, come on. We were just trying out armor. [Liam]

^^^^^^^^Wait…What did I miss? [Peebee]

^^^^^^^^^Nothing much. [Liam]

/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

* _Last night_ Jaal _was promenading around the Tempest. Completely. Naked._ {Vetra}

** _WHAT? Where was I?_ {Peebee}

*** _Probably in your escape pod._ {Vetra}

**** _Did you actually SEE him naked?_ {Peebee}

***** _Oh, did I ever. I was in the Research Room when he stepped out of the Tech Lab in all his glory._ {Vetra}

****** _I saw him too! He strolled right by Cargo! I still have a lump on my head from where I hit it against the window._ {Gil}

******* _I was stepping out of Med Bay as he was passing by. I think I dropped my datapad. I can't remember._ {Lexi}

******** _I didn't know where to look when he walked into Quarters!_ {Cora}

*********What do you mean you didn't know where to look? I'll draw you a picture for next time. {Gil}

* _This is the most amazing thing to have happened on the Tempest… and I MISSED IT?_ {Peebee} _  
_

** _Don't feel bad, Peebee. I missed it, too._ *_ * {Suvi}

*** _All right, everyone. I was trying not to get dragged into this conversation, but I should remind you that this is getting a little out of hand. We are still part of the Initiative, and as such there are rules and regulations pertaining to this kind of talk, even on an informal, private channel. If our logs are ever subpoenaed, we could find ourselves facing a disciplinary hearing._ {Ryder}

**** _And_ _Ryder actually saw_ Jaal _and Liam naked, up close!_ {Vetra}

***** _YOU DID?_ {Peebee}

****** _Ryder, you minx!_ {Gil}

******* _Hold it, hold it! Why were_ Jaal _and Liam naked?_ {Peebee}

******** _Liam wasn't actually naked. He was only shirtless._ {Ryder}

********* _"Only"…Is that disappointment?_ {Gil}

********** _Hahahaha!_ {Vetra}

*********** _NO!_ {Ryder}

************ _Liam does have some nice abs._ {Vetra}

************* _But_ Jaal _…Spirits, that is one RIPPED_ angaran _._ {Vetra}

************* _So, why were_ Jaal _, Liam, and Ryder all naked together?_ {Peebee}

************** _Ryder, you were naked, too?_ {Cora}

*************** _All right!_ _Go, Pathfinder!_ {Gil}

* _OK. This is how rumors start. I was NOT naked! Liam was NOT naked! Jaal was naked because he and Liam were swapping armor. It's not a big deal. Angarans, apparently, are comfortable with their bodies!_ {Ryder}

** _Heh. I'd like to be comfortable with his body._ {Peebee}

*** _I'll just let him know that he probably should not do that again._ {Ryder}

**** _Butt, butt._.. {Vetra}

***** _For what purpose? Why add to the pain and suffering in this galaxy? (Clever, Vetra, clever...)_ {Gil}

****** _So, Lexi…Give us your professional opinion…Can angarans mate with other species?_ {Peebee} _  
_

******* _She's asking, you know, for a "friend"._ {Gil}

******** _Hahahah!_ {Vetra}

******* _Well, I haven't exactly verified those details about angarans._ {Lexi}

******** _OK. Let me be specific. Can angarans mate with asaris?_ {Peebee}

********* _Do I have to pull rank here? This is all wildly inappropriate!_ {Ryder}

********** _Let me be even more specific: Could Jaal mate with me?_ {Peebee} _  
_

*********** _I cannot speak about Jaal, Peebee. That's unethical and would breach doctor-patient confidentiality._ {Lexi}

************ _Thank you, Dr. T'Perro! Common sense prevails at last! Took long enough!_ {Ryder}

************* _But I can say that as far as I've observed— not referring to anyone we know specifically—angaran males' sexual organs aren't that different from human males'. Perhaps somewhat…bigger. Even in a non-aroused state._ {Lexi}

* (•⊙ω⊙•) {Suvi}

** Haha, Suvi! Is that Lexi "observing"? {Gil}

*** _I VOLUNTEER FOR MORE RESEARCH!_ {Peebee}

/"Ryder" is currently offline.

**** _Why do I have the feeling there is going to be a workshop on sexual harassment coming up soon?_ {Vetra}

* * *

^Which track did you like, Drack? [Liam]

^^The Beastie Boys. [Drack]

^^^Oh, yeah? I like them too. They're a good listen. [Liam]

^^^^I didn't listen to their music. I couldn't listen to any of it. It's all annoying. I only chose the Beastie Boys because I liked their name. [Drack]

^^^^^Good to know… [Liam]

^^^^^^All right, everyone! I'm next. Prepare to have your auditory senses delighted. [Gil]

^^^^^^^Why can't we just bond over blowing up kett? [Drack]


	3. Chapter 3

**3\. Life Lessons**

* * *

 **Nexus Shore Leave**

To: Tempest Crew [all]

From: Sara Ryder

Hi everyone,

I know we are all looking forward to some relaxation after Havarl. Enjoy your downtime, but remember that you have to report back to the Tempest tomorrow afternoon. Here's the departure schedule for tomorrow:

· Gil, Kallo, Suvi, and myself report to the bridge at 14:00 hrs to go over Maintenance's checklist.

· All remaining crew must be onboard by 16:00 hrs.

· Provided there aren't any last-minute recommendations/repairs, we have been cleared for takeoff at 16:30.

Have a nice shore leave!

Ryder

* * *

 **Poker?**

If anyone is up for it, I'm going to be running a little poker game at the Vortex Lounge tonight. Nothing serious. Not high stakes. Just for fun.

[Gil]

[Comments]

^You in, Liam?[Cora]

^^Dunno yet. Maybe? [Liam]

 **/PM to "Ryder" from "Gil"**

 **^This is called "dangling the bait". [Gil]**

 **^^When I said "for fun", I meant fun for me. [Gil]**

 **^^^Why do you do this?[Ryder]**

 **^^^^For the glory. [Gil]**

 **^^^^^Seriously?[Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^Ok. For the easy credits. Saw a really nice soldering kit I want to pick up next time we're in Aya. [Gil]**

 **^^^^^^^Shame on you, Gil…[Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^I promise I'll count my spoils wearing a very contrite expression. [Gil]**

 **^^^^^^^^^Tonight will go down as "The Slaughter at the Vortex". [Gil]**

 **/End of PM**

^^^What is this "poker" game? [Jaal]

^^^^Do the Angara have any betting games? [Liam]

^^^^^Yes. Of course. [Jaal]

^^^^^^So, poker is a betting game you play with cards and you can win depending on the cards you are dealt during the game. [Liam]

^^^^^^^Different card combinations are worth more than others. It's not that difficult, but it takes some strategizing. [Liam]

^^^^^^^^And luck. [Vetra]

^^^^^^^^^I would be very interested in learning this game. I will plan to stop by. [Jaal]

 **/PM to "Ryder" from "Gil"**

 **^Ryder, I'm not buying Jaal's "what is poker" act. Big guy looks like he could pull off a good hustle. What do you think? [Gil]**

 **^^I think you should play nice. [Ryder]**

 **^^^Fine. If Jaal's there, the "Slaughter" will be downgraded to "Spanking". [Gil]**

 **^^^^Rawr. [Gil]**

 **^^^^^Do I need to bring out the training vid on professional behavior in the workplace again? Have you people learned nothing? [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^Does that mean you won't be coming? [Gil]**

 **/End of PM**

 **/PM "Jaal" to "Ryder"**

 **^Ryder, I am looking forward to visiting the Nexus. [Jaal]**

 **^^ Yes! I think you will enjoy it. And I bet Tann will have the Cultural Center ready for when you and your fellow Resistance colleagues stop by. [Ryder]**

 **^^^Is the Nexus large? [Jaal]**

 **^^^^It is…and there is a lot to see. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^Ah, yes. And all of this would take a long time to visit, correct? [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^Yes. So much to explore. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^Then…Would you be willing to show me around? After you visit your brother, of course—and only if you aren't otherwise busy. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^^h'kt;lgn 4509yuht8jy0-]o[kp5il [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^^Sorry: I didn't catch that. I think my translator is malfunctioning. [Jaal}**

 **^Ryder?...Are you still there? [Jaal]**

 **^^YES! I would be delighted to show you around! [Ryder]**

 **^^^So, you need my Pathfinding expertise to ensure you don't get lost on the Nexus? (Ha!Ha!) [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^No. If you believe that, then you mistake my intentions. I merely wish to spend the evening in your company. You are so fascinating…and I am always looking for opportunities to spend any time I can with you. See you soon, my lovely new friend. [Jaal]**

 **/End of PM**

* * *

 **Weird Noise**

Hey, Kallo—you might want to get Maintenance to check pneumatics in the lower deck while we're on the Nexus.

[Cora]

[Comments]

^Why is that? [Kallo]

^^I just stepped out of Crew Quarters and heard the strangest noise…It was like high-pitched squealing coming from the direction of Ryder's quarters. [Cora]

^^^Strange. I will have the Maintenance crew inspect all the door-sealing mechanisms. [Kallo]

* * *

 **No Hard Feelings**

Hi everyone,

Thanks for last night. It was great to see so many of you at the Vortex. Let's do it again sometime soon. Preferably after we all get paid. No hard feelings, right?

Anyway, since it's my turn to share a song, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge the one crewmate who played with the most spirit, with the most tenacity… and who lost the most credits.

Cora, this song is dedicated to you:

Attachment: Gil's Special Song for Cora

Play vid: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga

[Gil]

[Comments]

^HAHAHAHAHAAH! [Peebee]

^^Hahahah! [Vetra]

^^^Now, that's just funny. [Liam]

^^^^Gil, I saw Cora storm past Med Bay towards Cargo looking like she means business. You might be in trouble. [Lexi]

^^^^^Oo! I'd run for cover, mate! [Liam]

^^^^^^Gil's locked himself in engineering. [Vetra]

^^^^^^^Relax. No one's messing up the hair. [Gil]

^^^^^^^^That's not nice, Gil! You kept provoking me and totally set me up last night! [Cora]

^^^^^^^^^All right, Cora. Let me offer you an apology by giving you a pro tip: do you know why you lost last night?

^ Ok. Why? [Cora]

/Tempest audio set to: broadcast. File: "Poker Face" set to: streaming. Audio snippet: "Can't read my, can't read my, he can't read my poker face" set to: loop.

^^That's how I'd like to go someday: trounced by a biotic huntress that I'd provoked with a little dance and lip-synching. [Vetra]

^^^WHATS THAT NOISE ARE WE BEING ATTACKED [Drack]

^^^^Everything's fine, Drack. Gil's just being Gil. [Lexi]

^^^^^DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO LOUD ABOUT IT[Drack]

^^^^^^Speaking of loud, why are you yelling? [Peebee]

^^^^^^^IM NOT I FORGOT MY DATAPAD AT KESHS OFFICE AND NOW IM STUCK WITH THIS ONE THIS KEYBOARD WASN'T DESIGNED FOR KROGAN HANDS IM GETTING PISSED OFF THE BUTTONS ARENT WHERE THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE AND NOW I [Drack]

/"Drack" is offline

^Ok, guys. Settle down. We'll be reaching Eos soon. [Ryder]

/Tempest audio set to: default settings. Manual override. Permission: "Kallo"

^^These Earth vids are perplexing in their surrealism. [Kallo]

^^^I know. Nobody was dancing like that at our poker game. [Suvi]

^^^^I am curious: when you bet at poker, you can use things other than credits? [Jaal]

^^^^^Sometimes. People are known to put up their possessions in some cases. [Vetra]

^^^^^^Even baked goods? [Jaal]

^^^^^^^Huh? [Liam]

^^^^^^^^At least, that's what my translator is saying about one of the lines in the song. A… "muffin"…That is a baked treat, correct? [Jaal]

/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA[Peebee]

**HAHAHAHAHAHAH![Vetra]

**Oh my goddess. [Lexi]

***I can't breathe! [Gil]

****Wow, Gil. Look at what you've started. [Cora]

***** Let me go make it better. [Gil]

^I believe you are referring to the line, "bluffin' with my muffin"? [Gil]

^^Yes, that's correct. [Jaal]

^^^You know what? The Pathfinder is the most qualified person to explain the meaning behind that. [Gil]

/ "Gil" is offline

/ "Peebee" is offline

/ "Vetra" is offline

/ "Liam" is offline

/ "Cora" is offline

/ "Suvi" is offline

/ "Kallo" is offline

 **/PM from "Jaal" to "Ryder"**

 **^This is another one of those 'idioms', isn't it?... [Jaal]**

 **^^I'm sorry. Everyone is being very immature. [Ryder]**

 **^^^By the way, I had a wonderful evening last night. Thank you. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^I'm glad you enjoyed visiting the Nexus. I wish I were a better poker teacher, though. I feel terrible that we lost so badly… [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^ I had your excellent company for the entire evening. That's hardly what I understand as 'losing.' [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^That's very sweet of you to say, Jaal. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^But getting back to the idiom: What does "bluffin' with my muffin'" mean? I'd like to understand your culture better. [Jaal]**

* * *

"I need you to tell me something, SAM."

"Yes, Pathfinder."

"Can we jettison Gil into space and make it look like an accident?"

"I don't—"

"Nevermind: I was just venting. And wallowing in dread. Can't wait to meet Evfra again after Jaal reports on all the useful things he's learned on the Tempest."

* * *

 **^^^^^^^^^It's not an idiom as much as it is slang. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^^^Ah, yes. I was told slang can be difficult for translators at first. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^^^^^Yep. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^^^^^So… What does it mean? [Jaal]**

 **^Humans have all these terms that allude metaphorically to different parts of our anatomy. [Ryder]**

 **^^Ah. I think I understand where this is going. [Jaal]**

 **^^^And a 'muffin'…It's just slang for a woman's intimate... [Ryder]  
**

 **^^^^You know: sexual parts. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^I see. Thank you for explaining this to me. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^ Really stupid, right? And the crew thinks it's hilarious. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^No, it actually sounds quite poetic to me. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^^Sorry? [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^^We Angara also refer to different parts of our lovers as delights to be savored slowly. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^^^^Good night, my dear Ryder. [Jaal]**

 **/End of PM**

* * *

"SAM."

"Pathfinder."

"Can you do the equivalent of opening a window for me? I'm feeling a bit faint."

"Of course. I can activate the environmental controls in your quarters."

"Thank you."

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, yes...I'll get off the floor in a minute."


	4. Chapter 4

**4: incident in Prodromos**

* * *

 **Incident**

From: Foster Addison  
To: Sara Ryder

Pathfinder,

I will be expecting a report from you and the team you lead regarding today's incident in Prodromos.

Addison

* * *

 **Report**

From: Sara Ryder  
To: Foster Addison

Hi Addison,

When you say a 'report', what are you expecting, exactly?

Ryder

* * *

 **Re: Report**

From: Foster Addison  
To: Sara Ryder

A _report_.  
I don't have time to explain what's already been painstakingly detailed in the _Handbook on Conduct and Contact Guidelines, Policies, and Protocols_.

Addison

* * *

 **Confirmation**

From: Sara Ryder  
To: Foster Addison

Hi Addison,

I was asking because I DID read the _Handbook on Conduct and Contact Guidelines, Policies, and Protocols_ and wanted to confirm that instead of, you know, doing my job, you would rather have me use up my precious time typing up a longwinded 20-page bureaucratic masterpiece that could be conveyed over a vid call in five minutes.

THE PATHFINDER

* * *

 **Meeting Request**

From: Foster Addison  
To: Sara Ryder

All right. I will speak to you and your crew over a vid call today, at 18:00.

Addison

* * *

 **Clarification**

From: Sara Ryder  
To: Foster Addison

Hi Addison,

My CREW, too?

Ryder (aka Pathfinder)

* * *

 **Re: Clarification**

From: Foster Addison  
To: Sara Ryder

Oh, yes. Your crew. Everyone. I realize you may fancy yourselves quite busy, but you can't be that busy if you have time for antics like the one earlier today in Prodromos.

Addison

* * *

Ryder blinked blankly at the screen.

"The thing about written communication is that sometimes you don't get certain nuances of emotion across, you know, SAM?"

"Yes. Many misunderstandings occur because of misinterpreted signals in messages."

"I hope I am able to convey my sentiments clearly in my reply."

* * *

 **Re:Re: Clarification**

From: Sara Ryder  
To: Foster Addison

K

Ryder

* * *

 **Meeting at 18:00**

From: Sara Ryder  
To: Tempest/All

Hi everyone,

We have a vid call with Addison. I'll be in the Comm Meeting room, but you can log in via datapad from your stations. Until then.

[Ryder]

[Comments]

^Hey, Ryder: do you have a picture of you I could use? [Gil]  
^^If it's for the Cultural Center on Prodromos, they already have my service file pic. [Ryder]  
^^^No. [Gil]  
^^^^It's for the "Wanted" poster I'm creating of you. [Gil]  
^^^^^What you did to the Nomad is criminal. [Gil]  
^^^^^^The shocks are shot. [Gil]  
^^^^^^^The Nomad may be an "all-terrain vehicle", but that usually means ONE terrain at a time, not all at once. [Gil]  
^^^^^^^^I don't think this is salvageable. [Gil]  
^^^^^^^^^I thought you said you were the best. You're already giving up? [Peebee]  
^^^^^^^^^^I wasn't talking about repairs. I was talking about my relationship with Ryder. [Gil]  
^As long as you're working on the Nomad, you might want to add a few features. [Vetra]  
^^Like what? [Gil]  
^^^Barf bags. [Vetra]  
^^^^Hahahaha! [Peebee]  
^^^^^Ryder, why won't you let anyone else drive the Nomad? [Cora]  
^^^^^^You know, I received extensive training, which included driving the Nomad and similar vehicles in that category. [Cora]

 **/PM from "Peebee" to "Ryder"**  
 **^I believe she is alluding to her Pathfinder training. Again. Think she's bitter? [Peebee]**  
 **/End of PM**

^^^^^^^I was highly commended on my driving skills. [Cora]

 **/PM from "Peebee" to "Ryder"**  
 **^Nah. Not bitter at all! [Peebee]**  
 **/End of PM**

^Oh, I don't know…I personally like being launched headfirst down a canyon! [Peebee]  
^^I think it sends the kett a strong message: "Roads? What roads? I'm the Pathfinder. I'll make my own roads!" [Liam]  
^^^"Watch me forge my own path over cacti, rocks, and August Bradley's foot!" [Vetra]  
^^^^Hahaha! [Peebee]  
^^^^^That's too funny…[Liam]  
^^^^^^Bradley's foot is fine. He got out of the way in time. [Lexi]  
^^^^^^^The Nomad takes a little getting used to. [Ryder]  
^^^^^^^^The Nomad being driven by Ryder takes even a little more getting used to. [Liam]  
^^^^^^^^^What do you think Addison wants to talk about? [Cora]  
^^^^^^^^^^My creds are on Ryder's entrance into Prodromos during Addison's inaugural speech to the colonists. [Liam]  
^^^^^^^^^^^Her entrance was far more memorable than Addison's speech. [Peebee]  
^^^^^^^^^^^^I agree. I'd remember a Nomad rolling down the cliff, almost running down some colonists, and then ramming against the stage much more than whatever boring platitudes Addison was reciting. [Vetra]  
^And let's not forget the nice "glyphs" traced in the dust on the Nomad. [Peebee]  
^^Haha! Never! [Vetra]  
^^^Those were NOT glyphs. [Ryder]  
^^^^And I know who that "someone" is. [Ryder]  
^^^^^Glyphs? [Cora]  
^^^^^^Someone traced a bunch of dicks on the Nomad while Ryder was checking out a Remnant structure. [Liam]  
^^^^^^^Yep. [Vetra]  
^^^^^^^^Must have been the kett. [Peebee]  
^^^^^^^^^Had to be. [Vetra]

/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

*IT WAS MEEEEEEE! {Peebee}  
**You do realize I am also on this channel, right? {Ryder}

^Let me get this straight: Ryder crashed into Prodromos in a dusty Nomad covered in drawings of dicks? [Cora]  
^^Think they'll use the footage in a commemorative vid? [Kallo]  
^^^I guess it would depend on what they're commemorating. [Suvi]  
^^^^Well. Great. Now we know what Addison wants to talk to us about. [Cora]  
^^^^^Ok, everyone. Place your bets now: How will Director Addison refer to the "artwork" on the Nomad? [Gil]  
^^^^^^I'm down. Ten creds on her saying "dicks." [Liam]  
^^^^^^^You really think she'd openly say it? [Lexi]  
^^^^^^^^If she's angry enough. [Liam]  
^Put me down for fifteen. She's going to refer to it as "genitals."[Vetra]  
^^I'm with Vetra. That's more like Addison. Ten creds for me, too. [Lexi]  
^^^Maybe if she's rolling with her whole Director thing. She's pissed off. She won't hold back. I'll match your fifteen. She's gonna say "dicks." [Liam]  
^^^^Okay. Who else? Kallo? Suvi? [Gil]  
^^^^^Ten creds: penises. [Suvi]  
^^^^^^I like it. [Gil]

/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

* No, I actually really do. {Gil}

^Twenty creds. I have you all beat: privates. [Kallo]  
^^Ooo, Kallo. Good one. Can I change my bet? [Lexi]  
^^^Sure. Anyone want to beat Kallo's privates? [Gil]

/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

*EEEWWWW! {Peebee}  
**Hahahaha! That's so terrible! {Vetra}

^^^^Cora, are you going to bet? [Gil]  
^^^^^You have to be kidding. [Cora]  
^^^^^^All right. I learned my lesson: you aren't good at the whole betting thing. [Gil]  
^^^^^^^Wait. That's not it. I just don't like these wagers. [Cora]  
^^^^^^^^You'd like them more if you were good at them. Anyone else? Where are Drack and Jaal?  
^^^^^^^^^No. No, I wouldn't. [Cora]  
^^^^^^^^^^Of course you would. And this is such an easy wager. You have insight into Addison. You'd probably win this one. Pity. [Gil]  
^^^^^^^^^^^You're such a pain in the ass! Fine! I'll place a bet. [Cora]  
^But you don't like betting! [Gil]  
^^But I want to! [Cora]  
^^^I don't believe you. Anyway: Ryder? Your bet? [Gil]  
^^^^Ok! Here: ten credits! [Cora]  
^^^^^Hmm? What is that? A bet? Good. Which term do you like best? [Gil]  
^^^^^^I like penis! [Cora]  
^^^^^^^HAHAHAHA! [Peebee]  
^^^^^^^^Oh dear. [Kallo]  
^^^^^^^^^Wow… [Liam]  
^Hahaha! [Vetra]  
^^I hate you, Gil. [Cora]  
^^^All right, everyone! We have Cora giving penis a go. Last chance to bet! [Gil]  
^^^^Shut up. Just shut up. [Cora]  
^^^^^HAHAHA! [Peebee]  
^^^^^^How are we ever gonna keep a straight face during this meeting? [Liam]

* * *

"How did my father handle this kind of thing, SAM?" Sara pinched the bridge of her nose tiredly.

"He didn't."

She dropped her hand to her lap and stared at the lightly pulsating blue lights.

"You're telling me my father would have let his crew run amok like this?"

"No, Ryder. What I meant was that your father never had to deal with such circumstances."

"Ah."

"Most people under Alec Ryder's command were intimidated by him. He was often described as having a larger-than-life, imposing presence."

"Ouch. Let me rephrase that, then: How would my father have handled a situation where his crew was making… dick bets."

"It is hard to predict."

Ryder's eyes widened.

"Really? _Hard_ to predict? _Hard_? Et tu, SAM?"

* * *

 **Meeting Materials**

From: Foster Addison  
To:Pathfinder  
CC: Tempest/All

Attached to this message you will find the _Andromeda Initiative Handbook on Conduct and Contact Guidelines, Policies, and Protocols_. Download it and bring your datapads to the meeting. I will reserve the last half-hour to go over any questions and specific passages to refresh your memories on what is expected of you.

Foster Addison  
Andromeda Initiative Colonial Director

Attachment: _Andromeda Initiative Handbook on Conduct and Contact Guidelines, Policies, and Protocols_. Number of pages: 845

* * *

 **Winning**

Did everyone get that?

She is pissed.

She is so saying 'dick.'

[Liam]

[Comments]

* * *

 **Audio to Subtitle Converter v. 2.1**  
 **Voice identification: ON**

Addison: Is everyone here?  
Ryder: Do we need the subtitles? I don't think anyone at this meeting is hearing-impaired, correct?  
Gil: What?  
Peebee: Hee!Hee!  
Suvi: Look! It converted your laugh into subtitles!  
Peebee: That's…Do I really laugh like that?  
Liam: Lemme try: Mwa-ha-ha-ha!  
Gil: Stop it.  
Gil: The correct way is Bwa-ha-ha-ha!  
Addison: It's protocol to conduct Initiative meetings with audio converter programs, regardless. Let's stop wasting time and get to it.  
Jaal: Paavoa, Jarevaon Imasaf.  
Jaal: I am impressed! It can accurately decipher and subtitle Shelesh if I select this button.  
Addison: Yes, I am glad you noticed, Jaal. We added that function so we could share this technology with the Angara.  
Jaal: Thank you. I am sure it will be useful.  
Addison: Perfect. You can give me feedback on this version next time you're on the Nexus. You are welcome at our next Nexus Leadership Meeting.  
Jaal: Absolutely. It may useful for operatives who want to communicate remotely, but cannot use audio.  
Addison: Exactly. It has noise reduction features as well.  
Peebee: Bawk, bawk, bawk…BawkAAH!  
Addison: This is ridiculous.

InfoBoard v. 3.4  
/Restrictions: Tempest/All

*By the way? Addison is going to say "pricks". Twenty creds riding on it. {Gil}  
**Nah…Won't happen. {Liam}

Gil: Yeah, Peebee. Don't be a prick.

***Behold the subtle power of subliminal messages. [Gil]  
****Really subtle. [Liam]

Liam: Sound: Slow clapping  
Addison: I want to start off by asking what happened today in Prodromos. Ryder?  
Ryder: Let's see. We were heading back from a Remnant site several miles from the settlement. Ran into a kett camp en route. After a brief exchange of fire, we managed to destroy it.

InfoBoard v. 3.4  
/Restrictions: Tempest/All

*By accident, though. We were going to try and outrun them because we were running late for the ceremony, but Ryder couldn't get the Nomad out of reverse. [Vetra]  
**Hahaha! That was hilarious. Even the kett were like, what the fuck? [Peebee]  
***Hahah! [Vetra]

Ryder: We approached the settlement from the eastern entrance, but the roads weren't in good condition after the last storm and we veered off the cliff. I steered it in the general direction of the stage. It drifted forwards a few feet even after I hit the breaks. That's all.  
Addison: That's all? The Nomad almost ran over some colonists and collided with the end of the stage. Not to mention—  
Gil: OWW!  
Addison: What's the matter? Is he all right?  
Gil: Yes, yes. No worries. I just pricked myself. Please, go on.

InfoBoard v. 3.4  
/Restrictions: Tempest/All

*Did you prick yourself on your subtlety? {Liam}

Addison: As I was saying, that's not to mention the completely inappropriate graffiti on the Nomad.

InfoBoard v. 3.4  
/Restrictions: Tempest Crew

*Come on! {Peebee}  
**She didn't say it. {Vetra}  
***(╯︵╰,) {Suvi}  
****Damn. So close. {Liam}  
*****Ye of little faith… {Gil}

Gil: Director Addison, some of us were carrying out our duties on the Tempest and did not witness the events. Can you please clarify?  
Addison: Someone thought it was funny to trace lewd, juvenile drawings on the Nomad.

InfoBoard v. 3.4  
/Restrictions: Tempest/All

*Harshest criticism I've ever received for my art. {Peebee}

Gil: Really? What were these drawings of?  
Addison: It doesn't matter: what matters is, that a historic, groundbreaking moment in the trajectory of the Initiative in Andromeda was marred by that unfortunate entrance.  
Gil: How bad could it be? What could possibly be so offensive?  
Addison: All I can say is that it was. Pathfinder, I need you to tell me something.

InfoBoard v. 3.4  
/Restrictions: Tempest/All

*Nice try. {Vetra}  
**She couldn't even bring herself to say it. She might as well have said "unicorns". {Gil}  
***Huh? {Peebee}  
****Think about it. Unicorns and dicks: two things that are imaginary in Addison's life. [Gil]

Ryder: Yes?  
Addison: Can you tell me how I should reassure over 100 colonists that the one person the Initiative has placed all its hopes and trust in and given scarce resources to should inspire their confidence after this episode?  
Ryder: I—  
Addison: Alec would never have treated such a moment so lightly and irreverently. I don't think you appreciate the gravity of our situation and the significance of your role.  
Ryder: You—  
Addison: We have had fourteen months of failed colonization. I already had very little hope when I heard your father had given the role of Pathfinder to his inexperienced, untried daughter. Today was an embarrassment to the Initiative's efforts.

InfoBoard v. 3.4  
/Restrictions: Tempest/All

*Shit. {Vetra}  
**Can she even talk to Ryder like this? {Peebee}  
***No dick for 600 years can do that to a person. {Gil}  
****This is harsh. {Cora}  
*****I can fly us closer to the Scourge and force the vid call signal to drop. {Kallo}  
******STAY OUT OF IT SHE IS THE PATHFINDER LET HER HAFBIGHIFHEIFH {Drack}

Ryder: Addison—  
Addison: It really is—  
Ryder: Ok. Stop interrupting me!  
Addison: You think—  
Ryder: No, I'm talking right now. I'd like to address your first question: how should you explain to over 100 colonists that their Pathfinder isn't an inspiring figure. Know what I say to that?  
Addison: Very well. Go on.  
Ryder: Listen carefully: Not. My. Problem. Did you get that? I won't tell you how to do your job and you won't butt into mine.

InfoBoard v. 3.4  
/Restrictions: Tempest/All

*GO RYDER! {Vetra}  
**Yeah! {Liam}  
***Take THAT! {Suvi}  
****In your face! {Peebee}  
*****Well done. {Kallo}  
******Serves her right. {Gil}

Ryder: My crew and I have work to do. Sign off now, or I will hang up on you.  
Addison: At least view my vid on the Handbook's section on—  
Ryder: I'm disconnecting.  
Addison: It's a 10-minute audio recording. It's what the Nexus leadership decided would be an adequate follow up after today's fiasco. At least do that much!  
Ryder: Fine. We'll run it.  
Addison: And you should reprimand the crewmate who vandalized the—  
Ryder: We're done here. Over and out.

 **Disconnected from: Audio to Subtitle Converter v. 2.1**

^Wow. [Liam]  
^^Ryder, are you all right? [Lexi]  
^^^That was awful. I can't believe Addison did that.[Cora]

 **/PM to "Ryder" from "Drack"**  
 **^KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU KID [Drack]**  
 **^^SOME PEOPLE WONT BACK DOWN UNTIL YOU TAKE A STAND [Drack]**  
 **^^^AND HEADBUTT THEM HARD IN THE STERNUM [Drack]**  
 **^^^^Thanks, old man. [Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^JUMPWASHQUEUE [Drack]**  
 **/End of PM**

 **/PM to "Ryder" from "Jaal"**  
 **^Ryder, how are you feeling? [Jaal]**  
 **^^I've been better. [Ryder]**  
 **^^^Are you upset? [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^It'll be fine. It's just that Addison and I don't get along and having to work with her is exhausting. [Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^I want you to know: I will not be attending the Nexus Leadership Meeting Addison mentioned. [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^^^Why? Not on my account, I hope! You should go. Those meetings are actually quite nice! They serve an excellent breakfast buffet. [Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^^^Oh? [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^^^^^It's a tradition since the days of the Alliance. They serve typical foods from different home worlds. [Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^^^^^I see. That sounds intriguing. [Jaal]**  
 **^You should go at least once. This mess has nothing to do with you or the Angara. I know Addison thinks very highly of you. [Ryder]**  
 **^^What are some foods from Earth that are served? [Jaal]**  
 **^^^There are lots of good things. Let's see… fruit, pancakes, various baked goods.**  
 **^^^^Baked goods? [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^^Yes. And juice, coffee, tea. [Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^^ I am not going. [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^^^^Well, no one can force you. But can I ask why?[Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^^^^I am not interested in Addison's… muffins. [Jaal]**

 **^ Jaal!… You didn't just…[Ryder]**  
 **^^Did you just make a joke? [Ryder]**  
 **^^^I did. Are you at least smiling? [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^I am. [Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^Good. I wanted to cheer you up. [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^^That was very cute…in a Tempest crew kind of way…So I guess it's official: you're really part of this twisted team![Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^I wanted to ask you one more thing: would you like to help me work on a kett shotgun in a little bit? I am adapting it to shoot incendiary rounds and would be glad to have you join me. [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^^^I would be delighted to! [Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^^^Then come to the Tech Lab. But be warned: it is very hot in here, so do not bother to wear clothes. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^^Ryder, where did you go? I was making another joke.**

 **^^^^^^^^^Ah…Perhaps my humor doesn't always translate well. [Jaal]**  
 **^^^^^^^^^Ha!Ha! Very funny. I'll be there in a bit! [Ryder]**  
 **^^^^^^^^^^I'll be waiting. [Jaal]**

* * *

Ryder circled her quarters, an arm braced over her bare breasts.

"Goddamn it, SAM. I thought he was serious. Where did I fling my bra off to?"

"Check behind the sofa, Pathfinder."

* * *

 **Song Choice**

Ok, guys. I asked SAM if he minded letting me go next because I found a perfect song.

Ryder: this one is for you…and the Nomad.

Attachment: "Low Rider" by War

[Vetra]

[Comments]

^This is so excellent. [Liam]  
^^Hahaha! Did you see the vid? With all the vehicles bouncing? I think Ryder was driving all of them. [Peebee]  
^^^I'm dancing in my chair! [Suvi]  
^^^^Please stop. [Kallo]  
^^^^^Come on, Kallo! You can dance, too! [Suvi]  
^^^^^^Take a little trip, take a little trip, take a little trip with me! [Suvi]  
^^^^^^^Help. Anomaly detected. [Kallo]  
^^^^^^^^Wait. There's more. Gil helped me with a little detail. Gil? [Vetra]  
^^^^^^^^^Ryder, the Nomad is fully functional again. I reinforced the shocks and the body and chassis have been power washed clean. [Gil]  
^Bah. [Peebee]  
^^Thank you, Gil. I do appreciate it. [Ryder]  
^^^And I added a horn to the Nomad. [Gil]  
^^^^You added _what_? [Ryder]  
^^^^^A horn. Now you can honk at kett when we crash into their encampments. [Vetra]  
^^^^^^Thanks? [Ryder]  
^^^^^^^It'll sound like the harmonica riff in the song. [Gil]  
^^^^^^^^NICE! [Liam]  
^^^^^^^^^Ooo! I want to go on the next away mission! [Peebee]  
^^^^^^^^^^I don't know what to say… [Ryder]  
^^^^^^^^^^^You're welcome. [Vetra]

* * *

"I shall henceforth be known as Pathfinder Sara 'Low Rider'. The Nexus is going to have a field day with this. SAM, can you help me build up my resume?"

"Pathfinder, your rank is not something Director Addison has purview over."

Ryder reclined against her desk chair before exhaling loudly.

"I know. I know. It's just…Sometimes I wish I were more like my father. Maybe some of what Addison said stung because it's true: I'm not experienced. Sometimes I feel wildly incompetent. I am so embarrassed about what happened at Prodromos. And now my crew is laughing at me."

"You and your father have different styles of leadership."

"Yes. He was the 'do' and I am the 'don't'."

"You are being overly harsh with yourself. Your dedication, sense of justice, and work ethic are all similar to your father's. I have noticed a distinct difference between you two, however. While Alec commanded respect, you elicit something else, equally valuable."

"What's that?"

"Affection, Pathfinder. All signs I have observed indicate that the crew is loyal to you because they like you. You do not command as Alec, but the result you have achieved is the same: you both succeeded in earning your crew's loyalty. That is a sign of successful leadership. Your father would have been proud."

"Oh, wow," she muttered softly.

"Pathfinder, I see that I have upset you. It was not my intention to make you cry."

Ryder dabbed at her eyes before smiling faintly.

"Thank you, SAM."

* * *

A/N:

1) I think Addison is a real drag and not only because of her tired face and (previously) crazy eyes. It was because she had the gall to say, to Ryder's face, that she didn't care how Alec Ryder had died. Needless to say, my Ryder did not shake her hand in Prodromos.

2) Formatting on FF is a pain sometimes. I also post on AO3 as WaywardLass and there I can create interactive links. All the songs have been linked to their videos there.

3) I sucked at driving the Mako and now the Nomad. While driving the Nomad, I have not met a vertical structure I haven't attempted to climb. It's is especially endearing when I hit my thrusters and propel myself off whatever I'm trying to climb rather than up. Everything needs less gravity, I say.

4) Writers gravitate to different imagery. Jorge Luis Borges was obsessed with labyrinths. Edgar Allan Poe had a thing for crypts and burial sites. Me? People drawing dicks. It seems that in almost all my stories, someone is drawing dicks on something.


	5. Chapter 5

**5: Total Eclipse**

* * *

 **HELEUS WRITING CONTEST!**

To: Nexus/Initiative Colonies

Storytellers Wanted!

Do you have a great story to tell? A story filled with excitement? Intrigue? Let's create a classic for the ages! Media professionals are now scouting for talent to bring YOUR story to life!

We are looking for stories in the following genres:

ADVENTURE!*

ROMANCE!

DRAMA!

COMEDY!

Preferred themes are:

Interstellar exploration

Star-crossed lovers

Angara-Initiative collaborations

Note:

Stories MUST be fiction.**

Stories may contain some sex, but cannot be sexually explicit.***

Selection Process and Judges

We will read all entries submitted by the date on the entry form.

Your judges are:

Davis Qar—HNS Reporter and Producer. Known as "The Voice" of HNS. Journalism credentials include a week interning on Mars. Currently single!

Keri T'Vessa—Documentary-maker. Fearless Truth Seeker. Award-winning work includes: "The Ex-Files— The Truth is Out There: A Day in the Alliance's Divorce Court"

Hakim—Producer. Cameraman. Coffee runner.

Winners will be announced during an HNS broadcast on the date on the entry form and will see their masterpiece adapted into a riveting film or miniseries: the first by the Andromeda Initiative in Heleus!

Open to all Initiative members and angaran citizens. Contest judges, their families, and all HNS employees are not eligible.****

 _*But not too much adventure, because we have a limited special-effects budget._

 _** Some genius authorized a block of lawyers and lawmakers to come out of Cryo._

 _***See previous note._

 _****Seriously, Qar? You're the ONLY HNS employee. Don't forget to delete this note once you're done proofing._

/message filter: Spam

[Comments]

^Hey, Suvi! Weren't you saying you liked writing? Here's your big break! [Vetra]

^^I do! Looks interesting…but I don't know what I'd write about. [Suvi]

^^^You should write about a dashing Salarian pilot. [Kallo]

^^^^That's a great idea, Suvi. [Gil]

^^^^^Why am I bracing myself?... [Kallo]

^^^^^^After all, they did say they were looking for works of fiction. [Gil]

^^^^^^^You're the "dick" in predictable. [Kallo]

^^^^^^^^I'll think about it. I do like writing romances. [Suvi]

^^^^^^^^^Davis Qar invited me out for drinks once. It was a strange evening. [Vetra]

^Why is that? [Liam]

^^He'd keep ending his sentences with, 'And this is HNS.' He tried to pass it off as an occupational tic. I had Sid hail me and told him I had to leave because of a work emergency after he told me how he used to hide in the tram before the speakers were functional and deliver his news bulletins. All he did was talk about himself and HNS. [Vetra]

^^^Ha ha! We should set him up with Cora. They could get married and then HNS could stand for "Huntress News Service". [Peebee]

^^^^What's that supposed to mean? [Cora]

^^^^^Speaking of news, anyone heard from Ryder? [Lexi]

^^^^^^You don't know? [Peebee]

^^^^^^^She and Jaal had to attend an event Tann and Addison are hosting at the Cultural Center for the new angaran diplomatic corps on the Nexus. [Vetra]  
^^^^^^^^I didn't realize that was tonight. Well, I'm glad Jaal went, too. I'm sure it's a relief for him to see fellow angarans on the Nexus, especially after everything that happened on Voeld with the Moshae. [Lexi]

^I never saw him so shaken after a mission. [Vetra]

^^THOSE KETT ARE SICK BASTARDS [Drack]

^^^JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO FIGHT SOME RIGHT NOW [Drack]

^^^^Hey Drack, I thought Kesh had returned your datapad when she was visiting earlier. [Vetra]

^^^^^SHE DID SHES GOOD TO HER OLD MAN MY RUSHAN [Drack]

^^^^^^Then why are you still writing in all caps? [Peebee]

^^^^^^^BECAUSE I PREFER TO [Drack]

^^^^^^^^THIS IS BETTER IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE ME [Drack]

^^^^^^^^^SMALL LETTERS ARENT LIKE ME I AM A BIG GUY [Drack]

^^^^^^^^^^THIS IS MORE LIKE A KROGAN [Drack]

^Yes. This is more like a krogan…who is having trouble seeing words on a small screen…[Lexi]

^^/LOG OFF [Drack]

^^^Drack, are you having trouble with your eyes again? I might need to adjust your prescription. Come to Med Bay. [Lexi]

^^^^/LOG OFF /LOG OFF /LOG OFF /LOG OFF [Drack]

^^^^^We wouldn't have to adjust your contacts' prescription if you agreed to get an optical implant. It's a quick procedure. I've done it hundreds of times and you wouldn't have to wear contacts anymore. I don't know why you fight me so much on this. Meet me at Med Bay. [Lexi]

^^^^^^DRACK IS OFFLINE NOW [Drack}

^^^^^^^AND OFF THE TEMPEST [Drack]

^^^^^^^^FAR AWAY [Drack]

^Hahaha! Leave a message after the beep! [Peebee]

^^Goddess help me. I can see you sitting in the galley kitchen from the hallway. Get in here. [Lexi]

^^^FINE BUT NO IMPLANTS [Drack]

 **InfoBoard v. 3.4**

 **/Restrictions: Nexus Security to Tempest/All**

^Welcome back, Tempest. [Kandros]

^^Thanks! It's good to be back. [Vetra]

^^^Is Ryder still around or has she left for the Cultural Center dinner? [Kandros]

^^^^She and Jaal left about half an hour ago. [Peebee]

^^^^^Ah, well. One of my strike teams collected some intel I wanted to run by her. [Kandros]

^^^^^^Just upload it to SAM. [Gil]

^^^^^^^How come you're not at the fancy Initiative dinner, Kandros? [Vetra]

^^^^^^^^Probably for the same reason you aren't. [Kandros]

^^^^^^^^^Ha! Did I hit a sore spot? [Vetra]

^^^^^^^^^^You could say that. It's going to be a big spread. Tann and Addison are trying to show off to the angara leadership. But on a budget, I guess. So Kesh and I and a whole bunch of people who deserved to be there weren't invited. [Kandros]

^I don't know. There could be a bright side…I'd be willing to forgo some turian delicacies to avoid Addison's keynote address. [Vetra]

^^Heh. When you put it that way…[Kandros]

^^^What about you all? What do you have lined up for tonight? [Kandros]

^^^^I'm going to see if I can download some old vids at the Exchange. Maybe get a few beers. [Liam]

^^^^^Meeting my friend Jill at the Vortex. We might play a little poker. You know, nothing serious. You and your credits are all welcome.[Gil]

^^^^^^RIIIGHT! [Peebee]

^^^^^^^Nope, nope…[Vetra]

^^^^^^^^Count me out. [Kallo]

^I can't even [Cora]

/Cora is offline.

^^What about you, Kandros? You up for a few rounds? [Gil]

^^^Thanks, but those aren't my kind of rounds. Besides, I think I left my wallet back in the Milky Way…[Kandros]

^^^^Haha! [Vetra]

^^^^^I've seen you play. I'll pass. [Kandros]

 **/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "** Peebee **" and "Gil"**

* V., do I sense anything between you and our Director of Security? {Gil}

**What? Me and Tiran? Hardly! {Vetra}

***Oh, _Tiran_ , is it?...{Gil}

****We get along pretty well, but it's nothing like that. {Gil}

*****Would you like it to be? {Gil}

******Why? Did you pick up on something? {Vetra}

*******Oh, the only one doing any picking up is going to be you. Let's get you a date with Kandros. {Gil}

********What? Stop it… {Vetra}

*********Kandros is hot! {Gil}

*If she won't, I'll go! {Peebee}

**No, you won't. All right, Gil. Let's see what you have up your sleeve. {Vetra}

^And you, V.? What are you up to tonight? Drinks with Davis Qar again? [Gil]

^^Davis Qar? I didn't know you and he had a thing going on! [Kandros]

 **/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "** Peebee **" and "Gil"**

*Gil…What are you doing? I said up your sleeve, not your ass! {Vetra}

^It's more of a nothing. We had drinks once. That's it. [Vetra]

^^A little odd, that guy. Arrested him on the tram once, months ago. He used to hide in the back and pretend he was broadcasting the news over the speakers. That was harmless enough, but it was making people nervous. [Kandros]

^^^Yeah, he mentioned the tram broadcasts, but not the arrest. The evening was a waste of drinks, to be honest. [Vetra]

^^^^Someone ought to make it up to you. [Gil]

^^^^^How about you, Kandros? [Gil]

^^^^^^Me?[Kandros]

^^^^^^^Sure! You busy? [Gil]

^^^^^^^^Well… Why not? What do you say, Nyx? Want to grab a drink with me after my shift, in about an hour? [Kandros]

 **/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "** Peebee **" and "Gil"**

*Boom! I'm THAT good. {Gil}

**And you better grab more than a drink. {Gil}

***Heh. I'm good too. Watch. {Vetra}

^Mm. Sounds nice, but there's just one problem…[Vetra]

^^What's that? [Kandros]

^^^I don't drink on an empty stomach…How about you take me out to dinner first? [Vetra]

^^^^Is that so?... All right: dinner, drinks…Anything else? [Kandros]

^^^^^Dessert?... [Vetra]

 **/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "** Peebee **" and "Gil"**

*BE that dessert, girl! {Gil}

^Ok. Let's do this: I'll pick you up at the Tempest in an hour. [Kandros]

^^See you then. And don't be late. [Vetra]

^^^Will I be in trouble if I am? [Kandros]

^^^^You know it: I'll have to handcuff you… [Vetra]

^^^^^Is that a promise or a threat? If that's a threat against a Nexus Security Officer, it could be considered a felony… [Kandros]

^^^^^^Then would I be the one in trouble?...[Vetra]

^^^^^^^Yes. And I'll be the one handcuffing you… [Kandros]

^^^^^^^^Either way, I really don't see how we could lose... [Vetra]

^^^^^^^^^Forget those vids! I'm just gonna sit here and read this chat. [Liam]

^I'm doing my best to stifle laughter during a very dull briefing, Nyx. [Kandros]

^^I'll see you in a bit. [Kandros]

/Kandros is offline.

 **/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "** Peebee **" and "Gil"**

*Suvi, you taking notes for that story of yours? {Gil}

**Roguish maverick and Nexus security officer? I'd read it up. {Peebee}

***Especially if he's late to their dinner. (◕‿-) {Gil}

****There's potential. I'll think about it. {Suvi}

*****Don't you dare. I gotta go get ready. Later. [Vetra]

/Vetra is offline

 **/PM to "Jaal" from "Ryder"**

 **^Hey, Jaal! I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to sit next to each other or really talk at the dinner tonight. I just wanted to let you know…I read the note you sent me earlier. [Ryder]**

 **^^Oh? I hope I did not say anything inappropriate. [Jaal]**

 **^^^No, no! Not at all! I would love to get more messages like that! [Ryder]**

 **^^^^You would? [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^Yes. I mean, from YOU! Not, from, like Tann. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^Definitely not from Tann. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^I am glad you liked my message. [Jaal]**

 **^Do you want to…talk? I think we should probably talk. [Ryder]**

 **^^What do you wish to talk about? [Jaal]**

 **^^^About us? I mean, I've been meaning to share some of my feelings as well. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^Ah. Of course. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^I…You know…Kind of enjoy you as well. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^I am so happy to hear it. Because I adore you. [Jaal]**

 **^Oh, wow! Yes! Me too! I adore you! A lot! Maybe I should pop over to the Tech Lab and we could tell each other these things in person?...[Ryder]**

 **^^What a perfect evening, Ryder. I adored it.[Jaal]**

 **^^^All righty! I'll be there in five minutes! [Ryder]**

 **^^^^I told my angara brethren to open their minds, to regard the Initiative with curiosity rather than fear. There is so much to learn and to enjoy. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^I'm all for the enjoyment part! [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^For example, tonight's banquet was fascinating…wonderful. [Jaal]**

 **^Yeah? That's some high praise! Should I bring some wine? You seemed to like it at the dinner. [Ryder]**

 **^^Ah, yes. "Wine". I enjoy it—but more than that, I adore its flavor, perfume, and potency. [Jaal]**

 **^^^Really? That much…You know…That's kind of similar to what you said about me in your note… [Ryder]**

 **^^^^It is? Well, I enjoy you, too!**

 **^^^^^Ok, funny guy. Should I stop by with a bottle of my competition in a bit then? (Ha!Ha!) [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^Do you know what else I adore? [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^Riding the tram. I find it…fascinating. [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^^^^Wait…what? I thought you said *I* was fascinating. [Ryder]**

 **^^^^^^^^^And what was that exquisite food they served at the end of the dinner? [Jaal]**

 **^The dessert? [Ryder]**

 **^^Yes! What was it? [Jaal]**

 **^^^You mean the flan? [Ryder]**

 **^^^^FLAN! I ADORE IT! [Jaal]**

 **^^^^^Jaal, hang on…I'm really confused now…[Ryder]**

 **/Jaal is offline.**

 **^^^^^^Jaal? [Ryder]**

 **/Ryder is offline.**

 **/End of PM**

* * *

"SAM…What…What just happened?" Ryder grimaced as she scratched her head in confusion. "Is the translator busted? Here I was, feeling all special because he said he adored me and now I find out he pretty much adores everything!"

"Pathfinder, this may be a cultural difference that manifests itself in the language. According to my databases on Shelesh's formal, conceptual, and lexical semantics, angarans' emotional and passionate nature finds expression in linguistic constructs. Indifference or even what we would understand as a middle ground do not have specific terminology. The language is such that one either detests or adores, enjoys or dislikes."

"Are you telling me I am somewhere on a scale of 0 to flan?"

"In a matter of speaking, yes, Pathfinder. But with flan being every number after 0."

"Fucking flan!"

"It is highly doubtful that his affection for flan is of that nature—"

"No, no, that's not what I meant by that—Look, just do me a favor: pull up Jaal's message again for me."

"The one you had me set as your monitor's background?"

"Yes!"

* * *

Ryder bit her lip as the message flickered against the dark background.

 **A communication from your friend Jaal**

"Dearest,

In your culture, is "dearest" too strong a word to use when two people are fond of each other? And is "fond" too strong a word to use when two people enjoy flirting with each other?

I enjoy you. Even now, I smile picturing your face.

Angara are free with our emotions, and it feels normal for me to lay mine at your feet. I hope this is not too strange for your species and that you can comfortably accept them.

I enjoy you—but more than that, I adore your strength and courage and beauty.

Your dearest,

Jaal"

* * *

"Oh, SAM…"

"Yes?"

"What if…What if I've misunderstood everything? What if he was just being friendly?"

"Pathfinder, he did say in his message that he adores you. That was accurately translated from Shelesh."

"That's what I had inferred at first, as well…But…See here? Look: he wrote that he adores my strength, and courage, and beauty. Characteristics of mine. Parts. Not the whole. Not…Me. See the difference?"

"It is fairly safe to assume that Jaal nurtures romantic feelings for you."

"Fond!" Ryder cried out in anguish. "He wrote 'fond'. That's it. He is CLEARLY telling me he just wants to be friends. Fond is the verbal equivalent of a pat on the head."

"At this point, the exercise in interpretation seems to be purely academic and is yielding no significant discernments. If I may offer an insight: although I am not as familiar with fledgling relationships, as your father was already part of a well-established couple by the time he created me, I have observed that when it comes to sentimental issues, it is quite natural for people to feel vulnerable and second-guess intent. Perhaps it would be better if you addressed Jaal directly for clarifications on this matter."

"Like, just ask him?"

"Yes."

"Gosh, NO!"

"It was merely a suggestion. It would resolve this impasse by offering you a definitive interpretation."

"There's got to be a better way..."

"What do you have in mind?"

* * *

/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

*Hi! Anyone still up? {Ryder}

**Hey Ryder! What's happening? {Gil}

***So, I have an interesting situation I'd like your thoughts on. {Ryder}

****Sounds serious! {Cora}

*****How serious can it be? Did you see the name of this chat channel? {Peebee}

******If it's serious, maybe you want to call a meeting in the Comm Room. {Vetra}

*It's more of a delicate matter than a serious one. I thought I'd run it by you guys. But I need to be able to count on your discretion. {Ryder}

**Sure. Go ahead. {Cora}

***How well do you all know angara culture? {Ryder}

****Why don't you just ask Jaal? {Vetra}

*****I can't. {Ryder}

******And…why can't you ask the one angara on the crew about angaran culture? {Peebee}

*******I'd rather not involve Jaal. It could place him in an awkward situation. You see, it's… It's about something that happened earlier…I can't go into details, but basically this is what you need to know: a member of the Initiative received a personal message from one of the members of the Angara Resistance before Tann's diplomatic dinner at the Cultural Center. {Ryder}

********You mean the fancy dinner? {Peebee}

*********Yes. {Ryder}

*The one the rest of us weren't invited to. {Peebee}

**I heard it was amazing! {Suvi}

***I know! Jaal came by and wouldn't stop talking about the flan. {Lexi}

****Haha! Jaal is so funny! He gets excited about everything. {Peebee}

*****Did you see him when Bradley brought us the first tomatoes grown in Prodromos? Jaal was acting like they were the most incredible delicacy: 'These tomatoes are exquisite! I adore them!' {Vetra}

******That is one intense fellow. He made them sound so darn marvelous, even I ate one… and I don't even like tomatoes. {Gil}

*******Hahaha! {Peebee}

********Hey, guys?... When did we get tomatoes? {Cora}

* * *

"I was right, SAM. He's just an enthusiastic person. He may adore me, but apparently, he also adores riding the tram, sampling tomatoes, wine, and freakin' flan."

"To be fair, flan is a traditionally popular dessert from Earth beloved by many Milky Way peoples, Pathfinder."

"You know, I'm starting to think the 'S' in SAM stands for Sarcastic."

* * *

*So tell us what happened, Ryder. {Vetra}

**Yes, especially since Vetra is being tight lipped about her date with Kandros. {Gil}

***You and Kandros? But I thought you and Davis Qar were dating. {Ryder}

****I had drinks with the guy ONCE. Why does everyone think we're a couple? {Vetra}

*****Maybe it's because he broadcast it all over HNS? {Gil}

******But to be fair, it was a slow news cycle. That "Stranded on a Doomed Space Station" headline for 14 months must have been brutal. {Gil}

*******That's so nice, Vetra! I like Kandros—he's a good guy. {Ryder}

********Thanks, Ryder. We had a great evening. We got some food to go from the caf and found a quiet spot beneath the stars overlooking hydroponics. We shared a bottle of turian ale and talked. {Vetra}

*And theeen?...{Gil}

**None of your business! {Vetra}

***Suvi, can you work with that? {Gil}

****I could try…It's very sweet, actually. {Suvi}

*****See? She can't work with that, Vetra. We need dishy details. {Gil}

******All you need to know is that we had a great time and we're doing it again. Soon. {Vetra}

*******If Suvi doesn't win that contest it'll be your fault. {Gil}

********So then what? {Peebee}

*********Yes! Don't hold out on us…like certain people. {Gil}

**********It's not a big deal. It's just that there's this woman—part of the Initiative—who has been working closely with an angara cohort. They get along great and she likes him a lot and hopes the feeling is mutual. Anyway, he recently sent her a message and she isn't sure if she's reading too much into it. {Ryder}

 **/PM "Gil" to "Vetra"**

 **^You buying this? [Gil]**

 **^^It's about her and Jaal. [Vetra]**

 **/End of PM**

 **/PM "Peebee" to "Gil"**

 **^Seriously?[Peebee]**

 **^^Let's roll with it…[Gil]**

 **/End of PM**

*You've come to the right place, Ryder. We can help. {Gil}

**I wonder who it could be…{Peebee}

***That's confidential. {Ryder}

****Let's think about it…How many members of the Initiative are currently working closely with angara? {Peebee}

*****Not that many. {Vetra}

******Could it be Liam…and Varand? {Gil}

*******Good call, but Ryder said the Initiative person is a woman and the angara is a man. {Peebee}

********Unless she was trying to throw us off…{Vetra}

*********Did you say this happened at the dinner party? {Peebee}

*Yes. But that's not relevant! {Ryder}

**Well, well! That narrows things down! {Gil}

***Let's see…A woman who is a leader in the Initiative…{Peebee}

****That's not what I said. I never said "leader'. {Ryder}

*****Yes, but no one else outside leadership was invited to the dinner. {Vetra}

******I just realized who it is! {Gil}

*******This is so exciting! {Suvi}

********Who is it, Gil? {Peebee}

*********Think about it! Who is a woman with a leadership position in the initiative who has been working closely with angara? {Gil}

*Could it BE? {Vetra}

**Yes, Vetra. It IS. {Gil}

***Very clever of you to try and hide this, Ryder, but we're excellent at what we do for a reason. {Gil}

 **/PM from "Vetra" to "Gil"**

 ***Because we're nosey. [Vetra]**

 **/End of PM**

****Guys, the identity of the people involved isn't what's important right now. {Ryder]

*****Is it…RYDER AND JAAL? {Peebee}

*******That's just silly. It's obviously ADDISON. {Gil}

********Oh. My. Goddess. {Peebee}

*********Ok: No. We're not doing this. {Ryder}

**********But just as a point of curiosity, if it were Jaal and I, would that really be so outlandish? {Ryder}

*So, naturally, the man can only be one person. The one angara with whom Addison is in constant communication with about the outpost on Voeld. {Gil}

**Wow. {Peebee}

***That's right. {Gil}

****You don't say…{Vetra}

*****Evfra. {Gil}

******What? {Ryder}

*******It's all right, Ryder. We can keep it on the down low. {Gil}

*It makes perfect sense. {Vetra}

**Suvi, are you getting all this? {Peebee}

***Addison and Evfra? I could ship it. {Suvi}

****So, I am checking the Nexus' manifest from our last visit to Prodromos and I don't see any tomatoes reported. {Cora}

*****For the record: It's not Addison and Evfra! {Ryder}

******Be serious Ryder: who else could it possibly be?... {Gil}

 **/PM from "Gil" to "Vetra"**

 **^I have to say, she's putting up a good front. [Gil]**

 **^^Why doesn't she just come out and say it? [Vetra]**

 **^^^Perhaps for the same reason a certain Tempest crew member won't say anything about her date with the hottest turian on the Nexus?**

 **^^^^I doesn't kiss and tell…**

 **^^^^^Kiss…and what else? [Gil]**

 **^^^^^^Cute, Gil, but no cigar. [Vetra]**

*Actually, I like it! I'm getting some good ideas! {Suvi}

**I'll have to change the names, of course. {Suvi}

***Hahaha! Oh no…Sounds like a bad turian soap opera! {Vetra}

****Hush! There in NO such thing! {Gil}

*****I do like all the musical numbers in those turian shows. {Suvi}

******Right? Me too! Especially in the middle of an intense pursuit scene. Someone really ought to convey our disappointment to the kett. I want to see more jazz hands when they jump out of their aircraft. {Gil}

*******Okay. Let's just forget I ever asked. Clearly, I did NOT think this through. {Ryder}

* * *

 **Anyone Still Up…**

…And up for a game of Snakes and Ladders?

[Liam]

[Comments]

 **/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"**

*You know what this chat needs? More Liam! {Gil}

**Can we not? I'd really, _really_ rather Jaal didn't read about this on general chat! {Ryder}

***Don't worry, Ryder. What happens on T&A chat, STAYS in T&A chat. {Peebee}

****I have a workaround…Observe the power of the chat moderator! {Gil}

/ "Liam" has joined the private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"

*****Whoa. What's goin' on?{Liam]

******Welcome aboard. {Gil}

*******Really? A secret channel? {Liam}

********It used to be girls only. {Peebee}

*********You do realize I am not a girl, right? {Liam}

**********Hmmm. You might have to strip down again for us to verify…{Peebee}

*So, what's everyone up to? {Liam}

**Scroll back and get caught up on the convo. {Peebee}

***Why don't you run that message you were talking about by us, Ryder? You might as well. {Vetra}

****Fine, but first I need you all to understand that this has nothing to do with Addison and Evfra. {Ryder}

*****Of course not! *wink wink ***** {Peebee}

******Wow, you guys. I just read up and this is crazy! {Liam}

*******This is out of control! {Liam}

********I was trying to tell them the same thing, Liam! {Ryder}

*********You all holding out on me? When did Auggie come by with those tomatoes? {Liam}

*EXACTLY! That's what *I* want to know! {Cora}

**This is bullshit. {Liam}

***Let's get back to the message. It's getting late. {Vetra}

****Show us what you've got, Ryder! {Peebee}

*****Here's a copy of the letter- without any personal identifying details to protect the involved party. Are we clear? {Ryder}

/Message sent to: Members of private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass"

 **/PM from "Gil" to "Peebee"**

 **^Thoughts? [Gil]**

 **^^I can almost hear Jaal reciting this. [Peebee]**

 **^^^Why won't she just fess up? [Peebee]**

 **^^^^Let's yank her chain a bit… [Gil]**

 **/End of PM**

 **/PM from "Peebee" to "Suvi"**

 **^Suvi, that message was from Jaal. You got that, right? [Peebee]**

 **^^OH! This gave me an idea: what if I wrote about a love triangle? Addison, Evfra, and Jaal? [Suvi]**

 **^^^I LOVE IT. But why stop there? [Peebee]**

 **^^^^You mean?... [Suvi]**

 **^^^^^Yup. Put Ryder in it, too! [Peebee]**

 **^^^^^^The possibilities!...[Suvi]**

 **^^^^^^^ You better write the shit out of that story. I want lots of drama, smut: some of it occurring on the tram, and at least one good food fight. [Peebee]**

 **/End of PM**

 **/PM from "Liam" to "Cora"**

 **^I didn't find anything about tomatoes on the ship manifest. [Liam]**

 **^^It's baffling to me, as well. [Cora]**

 **^^^Do you think someone could have….[Liam]**

 **^^^^Disregarded docking protocols and not properly recorded everything in and outbound from the Nexus as they should have? Yes. [Cora]**

 **^^^^^I was just going to say that someone must have eaten our share of tomatoes…But yeah, that's still some serious shit. [Liam]**

 **^^^^^^You know what we have to do, right? [Cora]**

 **^^^^^^^Yeah. Round people up. Interrogate them. We'll go with good cop, bad cop. I call dibs on playing bad cop. [Liam]**

 **^^^^^^^^Um. No. We need to run an audit and check visitor logs. [Cora]**

 **^^^^^^^^^Or that. [Liam]**

*Well…what do you guys think? {Ryder}

**Hmm…{Vetra}

***Are you thinking what I'm thinking? {Gil}

****It's pretty obvious…{Vetra}

*****It's a love message, right? {Ryder}

******Right? {Ryder}

*******Nope. {Vetra}

********It's the biggest dis. {Gil}

*A dis? How so? {Ryder}

**Look at how he starts the message. {Vetra}

***"Dearest…uh…what's your face again?" {Gil}

****OH, COME ON! I don't know about that! Perhaps he feels so deeply for her that names are irrelevant. Maybe all that matters is how he feels! {Ryder}

*****Next, he's asking the questions about the terminology because he really doesn't know. He's simply curious. {Vetra}

******Exactly. This is purely an inquisitive message. {Gil}

*Totally. {Vetra}

**Now let's look at the next part: "I enjoy you. Even now I smile picturing your face." Basically he is stating that he thinks she is ridiculous and that her antics make him laugh. {Gil}

***It's an insult, if I ever heard one. {Vetra}

****I think you are wrong. Just because they are physically different does not mean he wouldn't be attracted to her! He acknowledged that they flirt, darn it! She's already attracted to him…I mean, probably, I suppose…What is so wrong about that? {Ryder}

*****On to the next bit: he is saying that he's going to tell her how it is from now on, so she has to deal with it. {Gil}

******What? Seriously? I understood it as his saying that he's open with his emotions and will suppress them no longer! {Ryder}

 **/PM "Vetra" to "Peebee"**

 **^Where did you go? We're floundering here. [Vetra]  
**

 **^^Sssh. I'm busy reading Suvi's ficlet. [Peebee]**

 **^^^What ficlet? [Vetra]**

 **^^^^ "Tram Rider" [Peebee]**

 **^^^^^Oh, Spirits. [Vetra]**

 **^^^^^^It's. So. Good. [Peebee]**

 **^^^^^^^I don't even want to know, do I? [Vetra]**

 **^^^^^^^^Oh, all right! Where is it? Send it to me! [Vetra]**

/Copied content by "Peebee":

 **Tram Rider**

 _They sized each other up as the tram's doors shut._

 _"You left the party early," Slyder, the intrepid human explorer remarked, eyeing the Angara Resistance leader as he sat in the seat facing hers._

 _"It was becoming stifling in there," he uttered in his deep voice, turning his face away._

 _"I think I understand." Slyder nodded and peered out the window. "I never expected Maddison and Taal to—Nevermind. It upsets me just to think of it."_

 _They remained in silence until the tram came to a screeching halt, sending Slyder crashing into Eshra's strong, muscular chest. An announcement played on the speakers._

 _"Attention, Nexus personnel. We are experiencing a brief outage. Please remain calm. We anticipate the power will be restored shortly."_

 _Ryder peered at the dim surroundings._

 _"Great. One more thing that didn't go right tonight."_

 _Eshra contemplated her pensively._

 _"It appears both of us had disappointing evenings," he remarked. "I had hoped the night would have ended very differently," he continued, wistfully._

 _"Yes. Me too. But I have to move on…and so should you."_

 _Slyder examined Eshra shrewdly._

 _"I thought you Angara were a deeply emotional people."_

 _His eyes narrowed._

 _"We are. Very much so."_

 _Slyder would not let her earlier disappointment crush her spirit. Before he could understand what was happening, Slyder straddled his hips. Yanking him by the rofjin, she leaned over and seductively whispered in his ear:_

 _"Prove it."_

 _Eshra raised his proud head and met her daring, defiant gaze for a few moments. Without a further word, he crushed her against him and they found themselves locked in a passionate embrace, their hands eagerly yanking off each other's clothing._

 _"What are these?" Eshra broke away from their ardent kisses to cup her full breasts. She sighed with delight as he squeezed them firmly. Mesmerized by the effect his caresses were having on her, he leaned over to kiss them._

 _"Have you never seen these before?"_

 _"No," he murmured, entranced, flicking his tongue over her hard nipple._

 _"I find it hard to believe," she whispered, right before letting out a moan of pleasure. "What you're doing feels really good."_

 _"Mm. Whatever these are: I adore them," he declared._

/End of copied content

 **^HAHAHAHAHA! Oh WOW! [Vetra]**

 **^^It didn't just end there, did it? [Vetra]**

 **^^^I need more. [Vetra]**

 **^^^^Peebee? [Vetra]**

 **/End of PM**

*And look at the ending of that message. He didn't even bother to sign his name. {Gil}

**He was like, 'whatever'. {Gil}

***Isn't that so? Don't you all agree? {Gil}

****Where did you all go? {Gil}

***** I'm not buying it. I think you are all wrong. How can you jump to such outlandish conclusions? You know what? This is a straightforward love note from a man who is infatuated with a woman that he's established a playful, tender rapport with and he is tentatively trying to assert whether or not their relationship might progress from friendship to something more romantic! {Ryder}

******Well, then…I guess there's the answer to your conundrum. {Gil}

*******Huh! I guess you're right! {Ryder}

********Thanks, all. I'm out for the night. And please…be discreet. I'm counting on your professionalism. {Ryder}

*Don't you worry. It's all under control. {Gil}

/Ryder is offline

 **InfoBoard v. 3.4**

^Good morning, everyone: you HAVE to read this! [Peebee]

/File "Tram Rider" shared by "Peebee" with "Tempest"/All

[Comments]

^WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST READ? [Drack]

^^It's Suvi's entry to the Heleus Writing Contest! [Peebee]

^^^I'm curious about the inspiration for the name "Eshra". [Jaal]

^^^^It's a work of fiction! Any resemblance to real, existing people is mere coincidence! [Suvi]

^^^^^Because…It means "hard" in our language. [Jaal]

^^^^^^That's what I call "foreshadowing." [Gil]

^^^^^^^Foreshadowing? [Jaal]

^^^^^^^^It's kind of like foreplay, but in literature. [Gil]

^^^^^^^^^Foreplay? [Jaal]

^^^^^^^^^^Yes…a hint of what's…to come. [Gil]

 **/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"**

*HAHAHAHAHA! {Peebee}

**HAHAH! {Vetra}

***HAHAHA! {Liam}

/"Liam" removed from the channel

^Just like that? Oh, well: it was fun while it lasted. [Liam]

^^What was? [Kallo]

^^^Never mind. [Liam]

^^^^It is interesting that you have a distinct, separate term for this. We angara just consider what you call "foreplay" as a normal, expected part of the entire act. [Jaal]

^^^^^This has been quite educational. I'll look forward to more. [Jaal]

 **/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"**

*So will we, Jaal…So will we… {Peebee}

**Educational indeed…{Vetra}

***We have much to learn from the angara, apparently. {Lexi}

****I'd rather do my learning _with_ the angara. {Gil}

*****Is there more "Tram Rider" yet? {Vetra}

******I'm hitting the refresh button in my mailbox and no updates yet…{Lexi}

* * *

 **Reminder**

Shifts begin on the hour they are scheduled. Not five minutes later. Not "Oh, I'll be up in a toaty bit, Kallo!" after.

[Kallo]

[Comments]

^Sorry, everyone. I won't be able to write the rest of my story until my shift is over. But here is something to tide you over! Liam helped me select a theme song for my submission, if I win! [Suvi]

^^You can listen and watch the vid here: File: "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler [Suvi]

^^^It's a really good one and in the vid you'll notice they are also experiencing a power outage. [Liam]

^^^^And I'm about to experience a seizure. I've completely given up on any coherence from these vids by now. Speaking of which, I've been meaning to point out something in your fic, Suvi: if there was no power in the tram scene, how were they able to broadcast over the speakers that the power was out? [Kallo]

^^^^^Hmm. Good point, Kallo. I didn't think of that. [Suvi]

^^^^^^Oh, very well. If you insist: I'll be your beta reader. [Kallo]

* * *

"Pathfinder, you have new e-mail—"

"Holy crap, SAM! You scared me! Can't I even pee in peace?"

"Of course."

* * *

Ryder dried off her hands and pulled up her messages.

"What are the chances this "Tram Rider" thing is going to blow over soon?"

"Uncertain. Suvi's is the only entry to the contest so far. As such, her chances of winning are practically—"

"I'm never leaving my quarters again."

* * *

 **Apology**

From: Jaal

To: Ryder

Dearest,

I apologize for last night. Your wine is deceivingly strong: although it appears weaker than tavum… it isn't. I may have had too much at the dinner; I somehow disconnected my datapad during our chat. Perhaps you will forgive me this once. My feelings for you are so intense that I adore everything—I am delighted by the smallest things, thanks to you. Such is your effect on me, my wonderful Ryder. You make me so happy and that in turn makes my world a better, more beautiful and hopeful place.

Your dearest,

Jaal

* * *

"Do you feel reassured, Pathfinder? That is an undeniable positive assertion of Jaal's romantic feelings towards you."

"Yeah." Ryder couldn't stop grinning. "Take that, flan!" she whispered gleefully, stepping out into the hallway and making her way towards the Tech Lab.

* * *

A/N: The message is obviously the original one in the game. I remember being all giddy after getting it, but then feeling all confused when my Ryder chatted with him afterward and he was all business as usual.

Davis Qar is in the Operations Center. If you talk to him, he'll admit that the most exciting thing that happened to him during his (incomplete!) training as a journalist was an internship on Mars. That cracked me up because it reminded me of trying desperately to beef up a resume. Poor Qar. Life skills!

I ship Kandros, who's hot, and Vetra, who's awesome. I think he'd bring her much needed stability and reliability in life and she'd get him to relax and enjoy himself more. And yes, I ponder these things deeply, usually while sitting in traffic.

The "Total Eclipse of the Heart" video is an 80s classic and is completely WTF bonkers. The formatting here on FF is a beast, but on AO3 I have clickable links up.


End file.
